Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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