I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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