I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So vagazzling was a success
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
