Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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