the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
