My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
