My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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