you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize