well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
