you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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