Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
