Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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