everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You ruined the universe
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
