it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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