Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
