Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
