I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
