dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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