Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
