somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
