Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
