# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize