TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
