In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
