Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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