Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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