i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
