I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
