My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
