Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
