I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize