haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Randomize
