Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You can't special order awesome
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
