I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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