Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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