She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
pop tarts are not kleenex
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
