how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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