just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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