I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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