note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
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I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
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Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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