Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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