Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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