halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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