You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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