mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
