I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
