Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
