Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
