is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
