There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
