question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
