He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize