i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My ass is underappreciated
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
