And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
