I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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