i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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