yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
