UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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