So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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