My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my shit smells like andre
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
