I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
