If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
