so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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