then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.