No stitches, just platelets and will power
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
