i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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