..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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