i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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